Monday, January 16, 2012

Losing the Miss New York USA pageant was the best thing that ever happened to me!!

Makho competing at the pageant
The top 5 contestants vying for the Miss New York USA 2008 title had just been announced, I was one of the lucky finalists and you cant even imagine how excited I was. There were 160-plus ladies competing that year so having my name called was a BIG freakin deal! My heart was beating so fast that I'm sure the entire audience heard it. I had been praying for this moment to happen and now I was literally one step away from being crowned Miss New York USA! My dreams were finally coming into fruition!


Top 5 Miss New York USA 2008

Well, we all know how the story ends, I didn't win the pageant.




I walked away with the first runner up title in the pageant and even though that was something that most people would be proud of, I was honestly disappointed. Gutted is more like it. How was it possible that after all this money, working out, training and preparation...I lost! Don't get me wrong I was happy for the winner but I also wanted to win. BADLY. It took me a few months to get over that hurt and disappointment of not attaining the crown.


Let me tell you story that my friend Marshana told me that finally helped me get over losing. Do you know who Christy Ficthner is?
Christy Fichtner
Nope? I didn't think so. This young woman from Texas was Miss USA 1986 and also the first runner at the Miss Universe pageant. Coincidentally Halle Berry was also a contestant from Ohio at the Miss USA 1986 pageant and lost to Christy Fichtner. Miss Berry was also given the consolation prize of being the first runner at the Miss USA pageant. You have to be a BAD chick to beat out one of the most beautiful women in the world in a beauty pageant! So hats off to Christy!
Halle Berry & Christy Fitcher


But where is Christy now? Who really won that pageant that night? As a matter of fact, I would venture to say who is winning in life right now?
Halle Berry on the cover of People Magazine


Marshana and I have now coined this the first runner up effect. Here's why I am grateful now that I lost the pageant that night in Albany. Being the first runner up made me realize that nothing is guaranteed. You can be so close to your dreams but still be so far away. After the pageant I really to do some self reflection about what I wanted to achieve from being Miss New York USA. When I went back to the drawing board, I discovered that I still could be successful in what I wanted in life. Winning would have meant opening so many doors for me in the entertainment industry. But quite frankly I realized I could still become a success story do that without the Miss New York USA pageant. I believe in the pageant system and some of the friendships I have forged there will last a lifetime. But I believe in myself even more. The lesson is for me is you don't win everything you seek out in life, but you always have to remember what your end goal is and always strive to reach for that. Losing made me work 10x harder for anything I really want in life and so that end I really won that night in Albany.



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3 comments

  1. U WILL ALWAYS B A WINNER AND YO KEEP STRIVING FOR WHAT U WANT WILL MAKE U BECOME MORE SUCCESSFUL THE JUDGES MADE NOT HAVE PICKED U BUT U HAVE WATCHERS EVERYWHERE GOD WILL CONTINUE TO GIVE U WANT U NEED AND CAN HANDLE.. LOVE U ,YOUR AUNTIE NIKKI

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  2. That is SO Right Makho!!! I was there that night as well. In the second pic...I am the farthest to the right.

    That night was a rough one for all of us. I mean, it was a LONG ride back to to Brooklyn! But look a at us now?

    I was content with my Top 25 Placement, wished I had made it to Top 15. But oh well? I had a plan. The Bachelor had come calling and just two days after the pageant I was on a Flight to LA to meet with producers.

    Well we know what happened next, I was picked to be on the show and my life took a different direction. What's the moral here? You always have to have a plan.

    Even if you won Miss NY USA, or if Halle had won Miss USA, you would ONLY be the title holder for one year, but then what? Do you know how time is just flying? Ask yourself what you were doing on this day/ this time last year? Doesn't feel so long ago does it?

    You always have to have a a plan. Win, Lose or Draw, know what your overall goals are and work towards them. Life goes on, years go by, and you don't want to be stuck in a moment that you can't get out of.

    The 2012 Class of Miss USA State Title Holders, I offer you this advice...this year will fly past you. Start planning your next move. Enjoy your reign, milk it for ALL that it is worth and use it to help you accomplish your future goals.

    To all the competitors that didn't take home a Crown this pageant season, know this. There can ONLY be ONE title holder in every pageant. But there can be MULTIPLE Winners. Let Halle inspire you. Take on The "Halle Effect". You can STILL be a winner, just like Halle is. Hold on to that drive. Don't let your dreams die. Press on and stand firm.

    The goal is not just to claim titles...but to etch your name forever in the memory of those you touch. To make your mark in this space and time. To make a difference, to matter. To be remembered and never be forgotten....because we all want to know...

    ...WHO IS CHRISTIE FICHTNER????

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  3. Makho - I remember the 1986 Miss USA outcome well having competed in the Miss New York USA pageant that year. May I boldly offer you a piece of advice? Never forget to nurture your inner gift. You can take pride when you have earned it by your talents and accomplishments.

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