Friday, August 5, 2011

What's your take on open marriages?

Singer Jill Singer sparked a twitter debate a few days ago after publicly pondering her stance on open relationships. The soul songstress says "What do you think about open relationships? Been considering. Many friends are making it work. Not sure if I'm that girl but not sure if I'm not. Sometimes there's an understanding that nobody else gets."

Chilli from TLC also chimed in and countered Jilly's argument saying ""Hell naw to open relationships!!!"

The definition of an open relationship is when you and your partner are allowed to have trysts(romantic or sexual) with people outside of your union. Your Facebook relationship status would be complicated in this scenario. An open relationship is not to be confused with polygamy. In the polygamous scenario you have many wives but in an open relationship you have one wife and possible many girlfriends or side chicks.

Actor Ossie Davis had this to say about his open marriage to actress Ruby Dee
Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee
It occurred to us, from observation and reasoning, that extramarital sex was not what really destroyed marriages, but rather the lies and deception that invariably accompanied it -- that was the culprit.

So we decided to give ourselves permission to sleep with other partners if we wished -- as long as what we did was honest as well as private, and that neither of us exposed the family to scandal or disease. We had to be discreet and, if the word can be apt, honorable in our behavior, both to ourselves, to whomever else might be involved, and most of all, to the family. And for the most part, we were

I can see some of you rolling your eyes as you are reading this. You are probably thinking this is some Hollwood issh, people in real life don't do stuff like this. I'm not so sure. How many relationships do you know of where the man or woman is constantly cheating on their partner?They break up to makeup and the lack of trust is completely destroyed. Perhaps there is some validity in the stance that everyone can't be in committed relationships. Some people for whatever reason (physically, sexually, emotionally) can not be with just one person. Would it really be so bad if a couple agreed to an open relationship with an open line of communication and trust?

I will confess: this open marriage line of thinking is not for me. No ma'am, I couldn't do it, I am one man type a girl. However I don't knock it for other folks. If it works for you and yours, who am I to knock it?Ossie and Ruby were married for 57 years granted they later changed their mind about open relationships they made it work.

So what are your thoughts? Would you consider an open marriage?

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